You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
