I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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