Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize