My pussy is not your playground.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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