Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
