I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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