i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
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