Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
