Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
