I cockslap morals
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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