is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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