Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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