I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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