i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I need moral support for this bender
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
