I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
PANTIES FOUND
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
