Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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