so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
