who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
