Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
