my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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