She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
3 2 1 whiskey
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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