and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
