porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
