omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
