where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
