You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
