fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
