Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
