ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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