In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
