I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was born a porn star she said
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
