Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
