as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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