next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
