just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
