this beer tastes like vomit already
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
