I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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