get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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