Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
