one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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