either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
