The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
