there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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