who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
