Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
