It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize