he shaved USA in his pubs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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