I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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