Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
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I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
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I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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