Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
