I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's blow job season.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
