sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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