you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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