My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
