Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
