dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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