Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
